It’s funny how the best laid plans go… pouf! and vanish into thin air… Of course this blog was going to be FULL of my dissertation progress and it was going to make you want to come and read some more of my blog! Ha. Full. Stop. Right. There… it never happened; so if by any chance you are reading this post after my previous post please make a note of the dates because that dissertation baby didn’t happen overnight (just in case you think I am some insane genius who writes super quickly!!).
So here I am, having given birth to my Dissertation Baby (it’s a boy!) after a rough pregnancy (elderly parents’ [more] falls + another house move + some other tough stuff) and the beauty is that I’m not taking this baby home!! No sleepless nights, no feeding, no dirty smelly nappies, no doctor’s visits, no ‘do-I-vaccinate-do-I-not?’ decisions to make. I’ve already done that 3 times over in my life and I’m happy to give it a pass this time round. Don’t get me wrong: I loved being a mother and doing mother stuff and I thoroughly enjoyed those years but I’m glad those times are behind me.
This baby was different though. I had the emotional ups and downs of a pregnancy, the fears (about finishing on time, about doing enough/reading enough material, about making any sense), and the uncertainty about my abilities on every level. But then as I read it over, looked at it again, mulled over it, I started to realise that there were some bits that were ok and showed constructive criticism/critical evaluation (hopefully enough to get through). I had read the right material and written well and in a structured manner. So I submitted it confidently and on time.
I have no idea what the result will be – and I wanted to make sure I wrote this before I got the results… but what I have learned is more than a grade, a percentage. I have grown exponentially in my thinking, in my analysis, in my critical abilities; I have been changed, not by content but by process and I’m liking my new ways of approaching life. I have more confidence, I am more assertive and a lot calmer when taking decisions. I am able to reflect less emotively and, for me, it’s a good thing. But I still have strong emotions and I have been able to channel them into building something good – much like the beauty of pregnancy when a woman’s body is ‘building’ another complete human being within her. Wow!
I came into public libraries 2 1/2 years ago (brand new!) and it lead me to complete my Master’s in LIS (Library and Information Science) in the last 18 months. I’m 48. I have had a blast and have loved the learning I have done while at City, University of London. It’s probably been one of the best years of my life – and I don’t say this lightly because my life has been very full of very good things and I have enjoyed it thoroughly. So yes, I look to the future with hope for a fulfilling job in a library environment but I also look back with great joy at my growth chart of the past year or so. I like what I see 🙂
Now. About a job… How about some ante-natal/birthing classes in Library and Information Science Dissertation?? Anybody interested??!